Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
