Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
