Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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