Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
