You work out of a Hotel?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
