Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
