I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Are we still banned from the library?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
