You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
