We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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