I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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