So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
