Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I am available for nakedness
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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