I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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