My brain says no but my pants say off.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
vagina is talking i cant
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
