Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
