So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
