Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
