Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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