How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
