Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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