I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
