you turned your livingroom into a bong?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize