If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
farters have to be the big spoon...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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