i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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