Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
