I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
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