what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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