i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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