vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize