we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
