you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Are we still banned from the library?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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