As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You dont lie about slip and slides
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
