So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
