I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
