How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
