Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
