I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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