No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
