my mouth tastes like poor choices
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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