I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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