And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
