When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
