at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
