Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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