i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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