If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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