didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
