i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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