I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize