dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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