So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
