She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
