my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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