I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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