her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize