bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
